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It’s Friday again, so it’s time to get casual and have some fun. Today I have a pair of songs for computer programmers. These files have been occupying bits on my hard drive for many, many years. I’m releasing them to the Wild World Web so they can live free!

You know the tunes, so sing along to the new words…

The first entry is to the tune of the old Beatles song, Yesterday, by Paul McCartney. This version was apparently written by that very prolific author, quote-maker and song-writer, anonymous.

Yesterday

Yesterday,
All those backups seemed a waste of pay.
Now my database has gone away.
Oh I believe in yesterday.
Suddenly,
There’s not half the files there used to be,
And there’s a milestone hanging over me
The system crashed so suddenly.
I pushed something wrong
What it was I could not say.
Now all my data’s gone and I long for yesterday-ay-ay-ay.
Yesterday,
Need for backup seemed so far away.
Seemed my data were all here to stay,
Now I believe in yesterday.

Now that you’ve warmed up your pipes, we’ll jump forward to a somewhat more modern song-writer who also happens to be named Paul. In this case, Paul Simon!

Ironically, the rewrite (which is itself a whole other Paul Simon tune from a whole other album) was also penned by our friend, anonymous (who sure gets around). This one is to the tune of 50 Ways to Leave Your Lover.

50 Ways to Hose Your Code

The problem’s all inside your code, she said to me;
Recursion is easy if you take it logically.
I’m here to help you if you’re struggling to learn C,
There must be fifty ways to hose your code.
She said it’s really not my habit to #include,
And I hope my files won’t be lost or misconstrued;
But I’ll recompile at the risk of getting screwed,
There must be fifty ways to hose your code.
Just blow up the stack, Jack,
Make a bad call, Paul,
Must hit the wrong key, Lee,
And set your pointers free.
Just mess up the buss, Gus,
You don’t need to recurse much,
Just listen to me.
She said it grieves me to see you compile again.
I wish there were some hardware that wasn’t such a pain.
I said I appreciate that and could you please explain,
About the fifty ways.
She said why don’t we both just work on it tonight,
And I’m sure in the morning it’ll be working just right.
Then she hosed me and I realized she probably was right,
There must be fifty ways to hose your code.
Just lose the address Les,
Clear the wrong int, Clint,
Traverse the wrong tree, Lee,
And set your list free.
Just mess up the buss, Gus,
You don’t need to recurse much,
Just program in C.

My apologies to both Pauls! It’s all in fun! Have a great weekend, y’all!